My name is CAT

                 EPISODE 4

The bathroom floor looked surprisingly sparkling as though a professional had cleaned it. Everywhere looked clean except for my life. I sat miserably waiting for the white pregnancy stick to determine my faith. I wasn't sure which of my many problems weighed on me more. The slightest possibility that I could be pregnant, Ken who hasn't called or My mum getting remarried while I struggled to get a man. Misery was not even enough to qualify my state.

‘’He went down on one knee and said he wasn't one to waste time when he was sure of something. I'm sure that waking up without you beside me will make me a very unhappy man. Please complete me and say yes to being my wife’’

As Mama told us the story, I was excited for her but yet again I was reminded of how single I was at 30.

I exhaled deeply and said a little prayer before turning the stick and it was negative. I was expressionless for few seconds then It occurred to me that I felt as miserable as I was before I saw the result.

The wedding plans were in full gear. Mama said she wanted me to be her maid of honour, that way I would be in the eye of every single guy. As terrible as it sounded, the idea of probably hooking up at the wedding was entertaining. I silently needed to be in a relationship. My thoughts were cut short when Pricillia knocked on my door.

‘’You have a call on line 2 Ma’’

Thanks Pricillia.

I pushed down the intercom button and his voice came live.

It’s me, he said with a tone of familiarity.

Sorry, I don’t know who is speaking

It’s Ken.

Why didn't you call my personal line?  Was my first question.

I felt you would be at work and it would be easier reaching you on your work line.

How have you been?

GOOD!

I had stressed my response as a subtle reminder to myself that I was good regardless. I was actually starting to erase the momentary memory I had of him and now he calls to refresh my memory.

Sorry I had not called, I was busy with work and I felt I should check up on you today. Do you mind going for drinks after work? He asked.

No!

At this point, I was sure my bed would look at me with surprise asking if I made plans without its knowledge. I didn't have time for let downs who just wanted to lead me on without mentioning it.

I'm sort of busy. I will probably call whenever I'm less busy.

I hung up after the split-second silence followed by a stretched Ok.

I felt good and just maybe, I deserve to buy myself a drink after work.

The drive to the lounge was smooth. The usual after work traffic I expected wasn’t there at all. More like all responsible adults had gone home except for the car that raced all the way to the lounge with me as though we were in a secret bet that I wasn’t aware of.

My usual drink was not strong enough for me today. I needed something strong enough to numb everything I felt which writing down seemed like the best option. I needed to vent. Took out my journal after the first sip of my cocktail and scribbled down everything in my head

‘’At 21, I wanted to get married badly because I felt that was what life was all about. At 23 I wanted nothing close to getting married. I just wanted to be established work and career wise. I understood in fragments that marriage was not the key to happiness or fulfilment. I bent down to work and make money on my own, only to raise my head and I was 28, alone and single. Since then it’s been one hell of a roller-coaster with men. The ones I love never treated me well. The ones who loved me were far from what I wanted. 

This thing called love is really draining and I’m sincerely tired of waiting for my true love. MY NAME IS CAT, I’M 30 AND SINGLE HOWEVER, I CHOOSE NOT TO BE LONELY AND UNHAPPY. LIFE JUST STARTED FOR ME. LET’S LIVE THIS LIFE SHALL WE?

‘’I understood every part but is your name truly CAT?’’

The question startled me and I turned to see Mr. car racer smiling at me in the most annoying manner.

‘’Were you looking at my journal?’’

‘’No I wasn’t looking………. I was reading”

‘’that’s so rude Mr, have you not heard of privacy?

Well you won’t get on my nerves. As you already read, I intent on being happy, so take what you read and keep it to yourself.

‘’what a coincidence, I did decide on being happy today as well. So, do we toast to that?

‘’Whatever!

He orders shots and we chatted the night away until I realized it was a Thursday night not Friday and I had an early morning meeting.  We called It a night and I went home to meet Mama sorting out her Invitations for the wedding. I helped her out and for the first time and I intensely happy for her without feeling miserable at my single state.

The next morning, I woke up to a text from Ken and one too many missed calls from him. He had seen me at the Lounge with Mr. Car racer. He probably assumed I had an arranged date with him and hence turned him down. He said he needed to talk to me urgently and he would pass by at work if I turned down dinner with him.

Exactly what would he want to talk about?

We’ll find out……...

Photo credit: Pennie Illustration