Lets's Talk Marriage shall we?

Observations has been made. That wouldn't be the basis of conclusions drawn, however we have searched for answers and in addition to that a better understanding that would strengthen longevity and happiness. 

Marriage is one institution that we weren't really given a blueprint that we would apply once we get into it. The ones who have tried it has not been entirely honest with us as to what is obtainable. The older ones on the other hand has been honest, but their precepts are not one we would comfortably adopt. Times are changing and what's obtainable is also changing alongside highly intelligent humans who seek emancipation in an institution that was ordained for two people who ''should'' have agreed before hand to be made ONE without questions or conditions. 

Marriage has been of importance to me and I seize every opportunity to discuss with married folks. Talking about marriage for me has just one goal: How would this institution gloriously ordained by God live up to its divine mandates without leaving the people involved miserable, unfulfilled, lost, or making two adult come together to train kids (Now that's a high level baby sitting position)

Man meets woman or let's say boy meets girl and they fall in love (or so they think). The next thing the world is asking is "When are they getting married".

I ask if that's the sole reason they fell in love in the first place. 

They go ahead to tire the knot without asking one basic question that has come to resonate in my spirit since my numerous interviews with married folks. 

What is my partner's reason for getting married. 

Hear this, we all have our reasons for getting married. You may know yours, some may not know. Its actually lame for you to think and assume you and your partner has the same marriage goals. Now let me list a few of these marriage goals I've found out.

Some marry for business partnership

Some marry to have that authorized licence to have tons of sex

Some marry just to have kids (procreate)

Some marry to have a companions who they can share their lives with

Some marry for financial stability

Some marry cause they don't want to be alone

Some marry because they think its the right thing to do etc

I'm sure at this point you are laughing in disdain and wondering how on earth did I make this up and it looks stupid to you.

Let me create a vivid scenario of two case studies that actually happened. 

 Mr Adams got married to a lady (lets call her Dena)

Dena's goal in life is to live in Canada and escape the economic situation of Nigeria. Two years into marriage, she is still hatching her plans. She begins to push Mr Adam on the need to leave Nigeria and relocate to a better place. That's not Adam's plan cause he loves Nigeria and he's secured financially here. After much pressure, he decides to give in to her when she got pregnant and complained she may miscarry if she remained in Nigeria. She alone finally relocated to Canada and started working. They gave birth to two more kids and the man goes three times in a year to visit them. Dena is ecstatically happy because she is living her dreams. In the 12 years of marriage and 10 years of living in Canada and getting her resident permit, she only visited her family three times.  She's living her dream and Adam is miserably living like a married bachelor.

Mr Adams has gotten tired of enduring and happily lives in Nigeria with his girlfriend. 

This is just one of the many numerous marriages that are so appalling I don't want to share more. Two adults who married for different reasons. 

There are certain questions you don't need to skip while preparing to get married. You are not only supposed to ask but find out if the answers given are genuine. 

Marriage is such an amazing partnership that myself and a whole lot other people on this congo line waiting to get it right just has to learn and get really prepared. I ain't saying there are no amazing marriages..... NO. I have seen beautiful marriages that has brought me to tears and I prayed for an even better union. 

The import of this article is to share my observations on a silent point that some may have overlooked and I'm hoping we do better than feel the butterflies in our tummies but fold up ya sleeves and take into cognisance the very nitty-gritty that needs to be addressed. 

None of these reasons for marriage is entirely bad, however the not so good thing that brings about issues and the high rise of infidelity and broken marriages is when there is clash of interest. If your marriage goal is mainly to procreate, please DON'T get married to someone whose goal is a partner who would travel the world with him/her. Issues would abound definitely when none of them can compromise for each other. 

Let the goals be in sync that way you will appreciate the union.