Is There Really a Time Frame?

We’ve been told a lot of things. We’ve actually believed and ran with it however, the mind got exposed to conflicting ideas and a thug of war broke out between the instilled beliefs and actual events taking place in our lives. Our hearts found it difficult to act accordingly with the laid down ‘’Standards’’, some revolted as they found disdain in the rules made to govern men. I was in between following what my heart yearned for and what my elders had hounded from childhood. 

I grew up with so many misconceptions that battled for clarity in my head. I saw the issues around education/career, religion, marriage, friendship, sex and life itself as puzzles I had to fix promptly in order to get the best out of Life.  I soon became afraid to discuss with my parents on the difficulties surrounding the missing parts of the puzzle I couldn't fathom. I gave up at trying to figure out any of these life issues and resorted to believe hook line sinker all that was said to me.  I was too loyal to argue and I valued acceptance over discovery of one’s self.

Then growth came with some sort of inquisitiveness and the urge to become a fulfilled version of my fairly baked self. The hunger to experience and know the truth ravaged my interiors and I desperately sought to know Me. Not the ‘Me’ my parents/family wanted me to be, nor the ‘Me’ the society wanted me to become. I became invested in discovering the true purpose of my existence. I reviewed all I was told, the ones that had settled as a result of scriptures that were quoted and proved, the ones that society cast on stone as a standard and the ones I experienced from life itself. I floated in a realm of naivety mixed with a strong conviction of purpose that was gradually becoming known to me.

We were told quite a number of things as pertains to life. I was told that if I became too ambitious, I will scare the men away and I'll never make a good wife. I was told that as a girl I should value learning to cook and taking care of my man over my career. I was also told that if I wasn't married at a certain age then I was either lacking in character or something spiritual was wrong with me.  Finally society made me understand that I was a second Fidel when it came to life generally

Living became guided by manuals that had to be meticulously followed. I was told there was an age for relatively anything in life. I had to work hard and hurriedly finish school so I would be age justified and not be left out or mocked.  Then I was done with University and everyone started asking when it was time for ''the wedding'' and getting a job in no particular order. They forgot I was warned to stay clear off boys and I adhered as was my habit.

I was constantly told that I was to behave in a certain way to be a ‘’wife material’’ for a boy that was taught little to nothing as to what marriage or manly duties meant.  I stretched beyond my limits almost at yield point to behave accordingly in the face of a man that felt so much superiority over me. 

The constant verbal reminder bound me to seek desperate actions to avoid exceeding the age limit for each phase of life. I ended up placing the mundane over purpose just to meet up with the standards that were laid down......quite sad.

Is this what Life is all about?

Is there really a time frame for each stage in life?

My being didn’t settle for this ‘’standard time’’, I wanted out and I got out.

Then came the rebirth,

The philosophy changed and so did the mindset. I got deeper into understanding the essence of living and not existing to meet up timelines. Purpose became clear and I discovered there wasn’t really a timeline set for anything. I valued fulfillment that came from impacting lives other than trying to please the masses that constantly proved to be insatiable.

Life has no measuring scale, and there is really no time line. You are not in a competition with no man but yourself. True discovery of one’s self comes from self-satisfaction void of the world’s compelling opinions. Stoop to find your voice and opinion on the very issues that bothers on our existence; marriage, career, finances etc. I have discovered the truth and it breaks the shackles.  

Life’s too beautiful a dream to be turned into a nightmare by issues that weigh down heavily on us based on shallow baseless expectations that was placed on us by the society.

KenderTalks………for the love of ART

 Photo credit: To those it's really due