MY THOUGHT PATTERN.............K1

So am basically sharing my thoughts on Marriage preparation/the wedding. Every thing about getting married is so excited that one can be carried away by the whole wedding preparation and forget the most important things. (I think I should have put a disclaimer at the beginning, but including it at the end is not bad. Its MY opinion)

We often think about our weddings so much (especially the ladies......Oh yes, don't deny it). The color of the day, the number of asobei cloths, the most prestigious wedding hall to use, the best wedding planner to hire and most of all......the hash(#) tags. These whole things become more excited when the man or lady shows up and we are convinced he or she is the one. Once the proposals has been made, the whole wedding zest and gusto is unleashed

Wait a minute........

Hold it right there.....

First things first

How many detailed information do you have about the man or lady you are about getting married to? This is where my actual though pattern comes in.

Major things you need to know about your spouse before getting married

FINANCE

 This is the major source of problems in marriages especially at an early stage. It's very important you find out all the financial details of your partner. How much he or she earns, how much he or she has saved over the years, how much the person fixed in an account etc.

 There is no room for assumption in marriage. Its a life time journey so you need to walk into it fully aware of what you are going into. 

(Let's imagine a lady thinks her man is rich probably cause of his car or life style. Then she plans for a big wedding that is close to two million Naira and the man has just a hundred thousand Naira left after the wedding. How pathetic will it be when a need of two hundred thousand Naira arises one month after the wedding?)

GOALS AND VISION

It's no time for love talk or partying. It's time to make plans and align individual plans. Don't be caught up in the 'But we didn't plan for this, so you can't do it''. Make your future plans together and make it as detailed as possible. 

Find out about each others short term and long term goals to be sure you are comfortable with it and equally find out if you can give 100% support to it. 

You wouldn't want a marriage where your partner comes up one day with a vision he or she had nursed for years and your are totally not in support cause the vision may be conflicting with your principles.

VALUE SYSTEM 

Value system are beliefs and commitments set on a scale of preference according to order of priority. Any marriage where the value systems are not in agreement (probably not exactly the same or maybe slight changes) will never last. 

Make sure you have individually put down your value system. Then at that point of decision making, find out if the two value systems agree. 

A girl who dislikes smoking maybe able to put up with a man who smokes, but a girl who hates smoking (now passion is involved) can never live happily with a smoker. On the value system, dislikes can be compromised cause you love a person, but not the things you hate. 

MAKE sure you find out these things before the excitement of the wedding which is but a day overwhelms you.

Finally, make sure you ask a lot of questions ranging from the past to the future. Leave nothing unsaid and if you are satisfied with the answers, then you can go on and plan your big wedding together.

Hope you enjoyed the first of the series......"My though pattern"  More of my thought pattern would be coming your way. More importantly there are so many out there with better thoughts on this issue. 

Please share with others via the comment section or you email it in and it would be shared.

Thanks for reading 

Disclaimer: The article above is just Kender's thought and opinion. We are all entitled to our own thoughts and opinion.

                                        #Kender cares