CLOSURE.......Why you need it

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Towards the end of last year, precisely in October. I was chatting with a friend of mine who told me about his colleague at work. The girl in question was in a relationship with this guy and almost every one knew they were an item and they really gave them those ''relationship goals''. After two years of dating and even planning on settling down together, the girl found out he got married from some random Instagram post after she had just seen him three days ago. News went round that the guy had been dating the present wife and also dating her. The girl broke down and for two months she couldn't go to work. 

Months after her recovery she started seeking means to contact the guy. Apparently the guy had blocked her number and also blocked her from all his social media accounts. During one of her numerous phone calls to mutual friends asking for his number, one of them asked her why she still wanted to contact the guy. She simply told him she wanted to know why the guy cheated on her and left her without any explanation.

She got the answers she needed and moved on. Simply put, that's what closure is. When relationships end abruptly without any explanations, you find yourself hurting more and it does take longer time to heal if you never get closure. I used to think its better to let ''sleeping dogs lie'' and move on until I also experienced the same.




I was once in a relationship that ended without any explanation whatsoever. For some mundane reason I didn't reach out to him cause I felt so hurt and he did same. Four months after the silent break up I was still distraught any time I remembered him. So many questions kept going through my mind and no one ever answered it. I did well at pushing it behind my mind and never talking about it, until I was discussing with a friend and his issue came up again and I surprisingly broke down.


My friend told me that I really did need closure and if I wanted to move on, I should get all my questions answered. I finally did and for the first time he crossed my mind, I felt the peace that he wasn't meant for me and I got all the answers I needed. 

Getting closure is really important and if you have been of the opinion that you could just move on without any explanation from someone who hurt you, then I'll ask you to revalidate that opinion. If you need closure, get it and move on. However what I wouldn't ask you to do is to go back to that person or get stuck while seeking closure. 

FOUR EASY STEPS IN GETTING CLOSURE

  • Speak with the other party if you have pending questions that need answers
  • Take 100% responsibility of mistakes that came from your part. Don't start apportioning blames.
  • Grieve, mourn, cry, wail etc if need be. Just let out all the emotions
  • Pick yourself up and move on. Go back to your vision board and get your goals accomplished.
  • Make a conscious effort to work on the negative aspect of your character. 




Comments

Anonymous said…
this piece actually helped my present situation and i couldnt but come back and say thank you Kender.
18 January 2019 at 16:40
christobel Ugwuokpe said…
I'm super excited when I share experiences that in turn helps others. Thanks for reading and please do keep coming back
21 January 2019 at 09:11
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