SCRAPS FROM A TRIUMPHED HEART

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Sunday: 12:45pm

I was super excited when I saw you yesterday. My heart bubbled and I wanted to instantly reach out and kiss you, but I held back as I didn't know what was in your mind. I wish I could read minds. The night was dark and reading your eyes were impossible. 

Monday: 3:48am
Been thinking about you since 2am. Its 3:48am and I'd rather be awake than sleep. I shut my eyes and I see you, I'm awake and I can't keep you away from my mind. I wish we were together now, cuddled up and enjoying every ticking second that passes. Sometimes I appreciate the separation. It has helped me get in touch with the very vulnerable part of me that no one or even myself has ever met. It has opened up a whole new perspective of what LOVE means and it's reality. 

3pm Thoughts (Same day)
I sincerely apologise if I ever hurt you and I hope you forgive me. I should probably be telling you this but I can't. I loved you totally and I will never stop. Life together was a mess however, life apart hurts badly that I don't think I can hold on a while longer.
I love YOU Unconditionally!

10:35pm (Same day. Loud Thoughts)
Hey C, I just remembered something. When you asked that I quit my vice, I saw you wanted the best for me. I just want you to know that I slipped back. It wasn't easy walking through quitting without your encouraging words. I drink to forget you but in reality your memories seems to have etched a big line that runs endlessly in my mind. You have no idea how miserable I've become. The pain I've felt can not be spoken about cause they will bring back memories again. 
The words you spoke to me that fateful night has made me die slowly every waking day. If you care about me and if your heart can hear my heart, make things right.

Tuesday:7:30am
I promise to be the one you'll trust. Please don't judge me. Just take me as I am. I want you. 

Dates couldn't be captured no more............

Why did you go?
Don't you love me any more?
How are you able to survive?
I miss you terrible, I'm drowning in pain.
HELP!
C'mon, you know what we shared. We may not have had so much in common but our differences made us compatible. You annoyed the heck out of me with your weird ways, and I always got on your nerves with my crazy sides. How perfect we laughed at our silliness. 

I just remembered what you said to me two nights ago. You said you wanted to spend the night at my place, make love to me into day break and never let me go. I wanted the same badly and the naughty thoughts of what I would do to you made me wet. I bit my lips bending over to kiss you. Our lips passionately met and you whispered how sorry you were to allow me suffer in pain. Those caresses jerked me into holding you tightly, never to leave you alone. I'll never take you for granted I whispered back. 
I was all sweaty when I woke up. One of the numerous dreams I had. 

I'll send you a text at exactly 11:45pm, just to apologize and let you know how I feel. I feel like a ''physco'' but I will be a ''physco'' for you.
He responded to my text. HE didn't want me back!



Beyond broken and confused, I laid in darkness for days and wondered how I could go on with life. 

TWO MONTHS LATER
I revisited my journal and I smiled Deeply for my vulnerable times and how I fought strong to stand. Proud to experience pain in it's raw form and head held high in victory,  undefeated. 
Life is full of lessons that are aimed at teaching and instructing us. The fire is supposed to build and purify and no swallow you.
Out of pain came a heart so pure to LOVE unconditionally.
Out of dirt came the beautiful flowers that blossoms into perfection.
There is beauty in ever situation. 



PHOTO CREDIT: SINCERE APPRECIATION FOR THE ARTISTS THAT ILLUSTRATED THIS WONDERFUL ART.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I have mixed thoughts about this write up.
However I admire the creativity
5 May 2019 at 17:31
Anonymous said…
quite out of the norm but i like the final piece
6 May 2019 at 18:29
Anonymous said…
This is painful........
15 May 2019 at 12:41
Anonymous said…
We all is a victim
6 June 2019 at 13:57
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