RELATIONSHIP DEAL BREAKERS.................III

 We have been talking about relationship deal breakers and this is a continuation.

INVITED DISTRACTION: You can't be married or in a "serious" relationship and frequently hang out with a male or female who is single. That's what I call an invited distraction which will probably lead to more serious problems.

Let me paint a picture so we will understand clearly what I mean. Clara is in a relationship with Ben. Clara has a colleague at work who is fond of always being around her. 

She goes for lunch breaks with him which is alright. But then it extends to visits at home alone and hanging out on weekends. C'mon! that's stirring up the waters of emotion cause very soon she will start developing  affections for him  and probably start comparing him with Ben.

So hanging around the opposite sex more frequent than normal spells trouble in block letters cause distractions like that are deal breakers. Invest your time with your partner. Don't wave a piece of fried fish to a rat and expect it not to go after it.

HIDDEN MOTIVES: Some relationships looks great on the outside but deep down inside the hearts of the duo involved, there is just a reason for being in that relationship. 

Once you have a reason for loving someone, then you automatically establish a reason to maintain the love which is not so easy. Same goes to relationships. Some go into relationships for all kinds of security and being in their shoes you wouldn't want to judge them. (It's the kind of world we live in...........survival)

To these group of people, relationship is strictly business and they do whatever it takes to keep their partners happy. Since its business, it comes with bargains and benefits.

 The only problem in this type of relationship is that most times only one party is actively involved in the business and the other is not aware that it's a business/relationship. That is where it becomes a deal breaker. Let's paint a picture.

Being in a relationship cause of financial security, job security, sex, shelter, fear of being alone, heart break etc are the wrong reasons for being in a relationship. Relationships like this is the reason why there are so many heart breaks and distorted personality.

Try to be clear enough on why you want to involve someone's time, energy, emotions, finances, heart in a relationship before you go into it. You can't dabble in and dabble out of people's heart.

CHEATING: Consider this a major deal breaker in relationships. Even with the saying that men cheat cause it's in their nature and not necessarily that they love whomever they did cheat with, I still find cheating preposterous.

Why cheat?..............

If you are fed up with the relationship, peacefully agree to disagree instead of cheating and coming back to say it was a mistake. I don't see it as a mistake. Before you cheat, it takes planing and conceiving in the head before its actually done. So it didn't take you unawares. What took you unawares is the fact that you were caught.

I know that there are minutes of insanity where we engage in lustful acts and so on but why put yourself in a position where you will be momentarily insane to cheat. 

Simply put, people cheat out of a desire for something they already have or are not satisfied with a whole package they equally have.

I hear of men who cheat on their wives or partners that are ''damn'' beautiful and I ask..........what was he looking for that he does not already have? If you want to be with him/her, then fully be with him/her. If not, don't break people's heart with the insane habit of your cheating escapades. (I think I would have to talk more about cheating on a whole new publish).

That being said, I still believe no one is beyond redemption. If it has happened already and your partner is indeed sorry, by all means reconsider and forgive. Let love rule.

            ......................to be continued.................................

Don't forget to add your contributions at the comment section or email in. Let Kender know your opinions on relationship deal breakers.

                                           #Kender cares!