MY MAMA'S STORY..............

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      Many many years ago, when we were still kids and marriage never made sense to us. My mum told my dad a story to our hearing. She narrated the story of a young girl who got married to a young Nigerian man who lived in London. The marriage as she said was simply based on the fact that the girl studied nursing in school. Prior to the marriage, the man had insisted that he would marry only a nurse and nothing less.

 The parents helped him find a young beautiful nurse and the marriage clicked. Months into the marriage, problems arose. My mum said the girl complained that the man always beat her up at the slightest provocation. After much struggle to salvage the marriage, they ended in a divorce

My mum claimed the marriage ended so soon cause conditions were attached to the marriage and not love. Being a child, I could barley understand what my mum meant by conditions.

              Two decades later.....all grown with my understanding and knowledge about certain things fully in place. Then I heard yet another story. I am going to be detailed as much as possible just to drive home my point. (Names of the subjects has been changed for confidentiality sake)
                      ......................................................

Mary had just finished her final year exams from the department of Psychology. She traveled home and on entering the living room, she met her mother and her mother's friend chatting and laughing over snacks and drinks. The atmosphere was merry and she was glad to find her mother so happy after she had complained of headaches for weeks.


She was warmly welcomed and given the good news that has kept both women happy. Mary was told that her mother's friend wanted her to get married to her only son who had lived most of his life in the UK. Jonathan they said asked his mum to find him a nice young girl he could get married to as he would be coming to Nigeria in December. Mary didn't object to the idea since her mum already welcomed it. 

        Numbers were exchanged and conversation between the two got very interesting. On the 18th of December, Jonathan finally came home. Excitement was an understatement for what Mary felt. She quickly called her friend Julia to inform her of his arrival. Jonathan invited her over the next day and she called her friend to go with her as she was nervous and anxious. On getting to His place, hugs and laughs followed and he was obviously happy to see her. Mary introduced her friend Julia and as Jonathan heard she was a medical doctor and had equally just graduated his face lightened the more. He asked more about Julia and Mary was excited to tell him all about Julia probably with an honest heart.


After much discussions, Jonathan gave Mary an amount of money and some gifts and asked for Julia's number which he got. The next day Jonathan called Julia and asked if they could meet up somewhere which she agreed to. On meeting him, Jonathan proposed to her and told him it was her he loved and not the friend. After much hesitation, she agreed and told her parents. Her parents equally gave their consent after they were told that Mary's dowry was never paid.


 
When Mary heard of the proposal, she cried her heart out and before we could say Jack, they got married on the 30th of December. The rest of the story is history.

...............the end

Can someone tell me how vain people can be when it comes to marriage which should be treated with so much seriousness and sincerity? Is two weeks just enough for people to get to know each other well enough for marriage ?  When has one's course of study become a criteria for marriage ? I could ask many questions and am hoping for answers cause we really want to know why marriages don't last and why people walk into marriage like its a child's play. 

Rushing into marriage has never favored anyone, so I'll advice we all get prepared before marriage


                                                              

                                                                     #KENDER CARES........

Comments

Anonymous said…
Kender so y ain't u a marriage counsellor..... Lol
9 January 2016 at 12:10
Anonymous said…
Nice story Christobel.
9 January 2016 at 12:12
Anonymous said…
Traitors. Julia is a traitor. Beware of bad friends
9 January 2016 at 12:14
Anonymous said…
That Julia .........Na woah ooooo
9 January 2016 at 16:47
Anonymous said…
Nice post for my Sunday. Lesson.....beware of back stabbers
10 January 2016 at 21:59
spower said…
Things like this happen cos gals this days fix date or year they must marry.the issue of love and who u are comfortable with cos is no longer in the books. I wish gals luck shaaa.. The good thing is that they are always at the receiving end.
14 January 2016 at 12:47
Anonymous said…
Those who feels qualification is a criteria for marriage are those who believe so much on societal status. Imagine dis intro.. Meet my wife Dr julia she is d chief medical director FMC. I'm not saying its also go to marry an illiterate but let marriage be based on its true criteria of love, understand, trust and d fear of oluwa. Many divorced causes now is as a result of d wrong criteria we have abt marriage. Some see marriage as a shelter, some do get married cos friends are married.... To have a sucessful marriage first ask yourself thja . " what does love mean to you"... Don't know if I made sense.
15 January 2016 at 14:16
christobel Ugwuokpe said…
You made a lot of sense. Thanks for your contribution. Its well appreciated
20 January 2016 at 14:42
Anonymous said…
Kender please I have a special request. I need more of marriage and relationship posts please.
20 January 2016 at 14:44
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