FIVE THINGS ELIGIBLE BACHELORS SHOULD NEVER HAVE ! ! !


I recently read a parody on the seven things single women shouldn't have and I loved  it so much  and I decided to write on the male version. Remember its a parody so lets enjoy .

We all know that there are so many eligible bachelors who are not yet married and has not engaged any girl. The most annoying part is that most of them are so career obsessed that marriage talk is the last on their scale of preference. While some claim not to have time for marriage and its Wahala, the others are happy in the company of their fellow unmarried friends or married friends.

So here are the five things any eligible bachelor should never have.

A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP
OK, its not enough that you are ready to settle down but you don't want to, then you are ''blessed'' with a happy relationship. The truth is that you are so comfortable in your relationship that you don't want to take it to the next level which is marriage. It's so much comfort that is making you forget the necessary things to do and frankly speaking you don't need that comfort. Since you are enjoying the relationship, why not just go ahead and get married (Abi you wan frustrate the girl).

A DUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND.
Some men are blessed in their relationships that they have a combination of a lover, a best friend, a mother and a girl friend all in one lady. They enjoy the bliss even married men don't enjoy in their relationship. A girl who does everything a wife does and even more. So tell me, how will marriage be on his mind when he gets everything he wants including living with the girlfriend. That is too much and if you want to continue enjoying that happiness and sweet lady, you better go pay her bride price and do the necessary things required. The men may have an excuse and leisurely say that they are still getting to know each other or some may annoyingly say ''I'm still tasting her''. Bruh! is she an orange you taste before buying? Are you not done tasting? Abi you wan taste am dry and leave am hanging!
Such dutiful girlfriends should be far away from single men who are eligible for marriage and still does not want to marry.

AN UNCONCERNED FAMILY
Family pressure to get married is one thing men seriously want to avoid. So since marriage has become a thing of the past for them, their family members shouldn't keep quiet at all. Their mother's should keep calling and reminding them that grand children are needed or else they grow white beards and their children may start calling them grand pa. The fathers should equally call for family meetings and address the issue of singlesness in their lives. All the aunty dramas should join and let's see how he will happily concentrate at work and pursue that career he is always singing about.

PLATONIC SINGLE FEMALE FRIENDS
A man does not want to get married with all his qualifications for marriage yet he has single female friends who play different roles in his life but yet on a platonic level and always hangs out with him. When he needs emotional support...............Tricia is there to give a shoulder to lean on, when he needs someone to talk to...............Mabel is always willing to talk to him, when he needs home made food............Angela the fantastic cook who loves cooking is readily available and so on. So our dear brother in this category does not feel the need to liberate a single sister from the chains of singleness (hehehehehehehe). Ladies, if you have this kind of guy as a friend, don't encourage him. Get busy with your career if you don't have a man in your life and stop answering his calls cause he needs to hook up with a lady and settle down.

LUXURY
Traveling from one country to another, spending without doing much calculations, enjoying the beauty of great scenarios and forgetting the most important thing which is MARRIAGE. Its not enough that you are single, you equally travel single, when you can comfortably afford to take your wife along with you. You shouldn't enjoy the luxuries of life since you have decided to be single for life. Graciously  join the priesthood and let's know you are taken. Eligible bachelors should not have the luxuries of life and all the comfort they need cause they easily forget that a lady is somwhere waiting for them. Don't even think of that vacation or new car. Save the money for your wedding cause that's what you actually need.

                     Life is to be enjoyed cause its so short and no one wants to leave each day regretting the things we failed to do. So for both the married and unmarried ones, leave each day to the fullest enjoying every bit of it.

Still bear in mind that its a parody

                           Love you'll ! ! !


Comments

Anonymous said…
Finally a release. Tank ma'am. This was so hilarious.
Anonymous said…
Learnt a new word. Parody. Tanks.
Unknown said…
100% truth..you inspire me alot. Weldone dear.
Am glad you enjoyed it. Thanks
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said…
You have done remarkably well at such a young age. My best wishes are always with you.

MORBERG.........
spower said…
Hahahah.. So I should shoot out all my single lady friends abi? So I can get married next year? OK o noted..
spower said…
Another thing the Bachelors shouldn't have is gals who are in their life but don't wanna marry them. How about that kender
Tanks a lot dear and thanks for reading!
How about they go for the girls who are homely enough to settle down!
Anonymous said…
kender, you are such an inspiring writer and u have loads and loads of humour.
Anonymous said…
I love this parody. Pls write on the ladies too. Expecting it

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