Don't Play With My Heart


Guys, I didn't forget its Thursday and on days like this we talk about one of the many relationship ''wahala'' that lingers on the lips of many.

So today I'll be talking of a topic that particularly appeals to me.
When it comes to love/relationship trust me, there are different shades of crazy.
There isn't really any standard that works best for any two relationships. That's why relationships are hard work, You have to figure out what works best for you and your partner. 

I was recently having a nice time with some new friends. I was so tired after work that the only thing on my mind was food and sleep, but then again I needed to unwind so we hit a nearby lounge and conversed over few drinks. 

As usual the relationship issue came up and I excitedly jumped at it. This pretty young girl who sat inches next to me was so beautiful that even after the day's stress, she still looked amazing like she was sent from heaven. It was so annoying watching her complain about her ''Man''

''Ndi man''

Apparently the guy gave her a good chase before they started dating. He would always send her flowers, gifts and call often even before she consented to the relationship. After six months of the guy constantly asking her to give him a chance, she finally agreed. 
Now she agreed because her friends kept reminding her that there were no good men left and this particular hottie was persistent to have wooed her for six months without giving up. The consent wasn't originally her idea but at that point the push was just too much and for some weird reasons she started seeing the young man in a different light.

The relationship started and for the first three months it was amazing. Sex had happened and the gifts stopped coming. The calls were reduced to the barest minimum and of course the man still sang ''I love you to her each time they met''. 

The change in communication was not even the problem but the fact that he constantly negates everything about her and complains even in the mildest tone.
''Honey your hair is bristle''
'Baby your skin looks coarse''
''Sweetheart, your nails are just too long''
''Baby, this make up is too heavy''
''Sunshine, this dress is too short''
''Babe, you are adding weight oo''


That wasn't all. 
Living in Lagos as a young girl already comes with it's own challenges and having someone to talk to about them kind of gives you this relief, comfort and an assurance that someone has got your back. In their relationship, they barely knew what was going on in each other's life. She complained severally and the complaints lasted for two and a half years with apologies dished each time she went overboard with her complaints. 

Now she had not stopped complaining cause we were seated at a beautiful lounge and she is the center of our discussion. Advices flew in left right and center even from those who had previously asked her to just manage ''it'' since the guy is good in some other areas.

I just said two words ''Dump him''

I cannot stress myself and be advising someone that knows the truth. From the onset she didn't ''vibe'' with the guy enough to say yes to him. Then her friends influenced her into saying yes as though it was their collective relationship.

Look! its either its working or it isn't working for me. I would only put in work into a relationship when I see the green light of compatibility and understanding. Life has its own struggles already, please don't let relationship issues finally sink you. 
If you have that gut feeling that a guy or a girl isn't meant for you, please don't ignore it and settle for a truck load of problems cause you feel they put in so much in trying to get you. 

Stay woke and don't think you can change a fully grown human just to suit your needs. Someone else out there needs them just the way they are. So biko choo your spec (Look for your spec).

Till next Thursday guys. 
Please I'd love to see your comments and opinions on this topic. Meanwhile feel free to drop topics you want me to address. 

                                                     WARNING

Flee from every toxic relationship or any abusive relationship whether emotional abuse or physical abuse.

Comments

Unknown said…
Quite touching.there is one thing about men,they can go to any lenght to get sex from any girl.it could have been it's cus of the sex he was so desperate for six good months,and once he got what he needed,he lost interest. On the other handhe is good in other things according to the lady,why not she have a real heart to heart talk with the man,bare her heart on the things she doesn't like and watch what happens. If he doesn't adjust, then she can take a walk,complaining isn't enough. What if she has been doing that in a way that is inappropriate?my thoughts!
Dear Unknown, Thanks for your comment.
I really don't see why a guy would go for six months to get a girl just to get a laid. There are so many girls he could have had sex with if that was his problem. On a second thought, i just think the girl didn't take notice of his lack 0f communication cause she wasn't interested then. Now in the real relationship she gets to see who the guy truly is. I think that's one of the reasons some marriages fail.
Unknown said…
Awesome!
Keep it up baby. I admire your intellectual capacity. You must be my alter-ego.
Once again, keep it up Christobel. From Sammy.

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